K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
