If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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