So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Hippo gnu deer
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
