i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
