I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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