you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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