does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
