You work out of a Hotel?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I love having hate sex.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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