You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will be naked everywhere
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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