i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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