Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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