Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
operation harelip BJ is a go
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Hippo gnu deer
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize