Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
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