in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
