He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
