1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
