There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Sext me about skeletons
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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