i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
