I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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