party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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