Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
