I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
