i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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