with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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