i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
