we made out on top of his cat.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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