It's Friday. Sex?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
