She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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