i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
