Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize