So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize