If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
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