I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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