I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
