We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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