The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
