I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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