I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
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i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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