Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
vagina is talking i cant
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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