STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
