I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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