And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
