Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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