When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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