Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
