I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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