i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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