I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
