This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
