I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
