tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
