haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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