Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
