don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
This toilet bowl is my home.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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