you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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