i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
