I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize