If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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