And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
