bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
