Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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