Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
