I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
love makes seman taste better
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
