Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
