what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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