just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
