so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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