the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize