i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He keeps bees of course he's weird
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
