Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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